Keeping in mind that I am speaking for myself and these are my opinions and feelings.

It is so easy in the beginning of a relationship with an animal.  It’s fun!  There is the excitement of showing them their new home which we are so proud of and  buying them all the trimmings (new blanket, new bridle, and new toys). 

What is more amazing however; is that we also can be so present during that inevitable time (or even if only the fear of it).  The pain felt is excruciating for sure but as long as we don’t hide from it and mask that pain with food, drink, smoke, shopping, isolation and the countless other methods we can invent, there is such peace knowing we gave back what was given to us freely.  Unconditional love by our animals.

I myself experienced this process this year though this is not the first time I have lost a beloved companion.

Several years ago a call came to our farm from a woman we knew that had an Andalusian Thoroughbred cross.  I happened to be the one who picked up the phone.  During my conversation, the woman said to me that she was not able to financially keep Primoroso XII (Miguel) and would only consider placing him with certain people.  She chose our farm as one of those “people”.  Looking back now, I feel so honored.  When I asked how much she wanted to sell Miguel for, she said “how can I put a price on my friend?”  My heart broke but I asked again as kindly as possible.  We settled on a number and that day my mother and I went and picked up Miguel to bring him home (took an hour in the cold to get him on the dang trailer). 

What ensued for me was years of me pushing and pulling in and away from horses.  The Universe however; saw fit that Miguel and I would remain together.  There are many happy and frustrating memories that I have.  He was a very scared boy when he first came to the farm.  Everything scared Miguel.  I learned patience, persistence, compassion, to be easy going all from my boy (cry). 

That day came for me this year.  That painful time.  Miguel was a gray and prone to cancer however; usually they say they die with and not from cancer.  We were not that fortunate my “little guy” and I (cry).  Within a week of my wonderful mom (whose care for Miguel was amazing) noticing him having difficulty, the day came when I had to make a decision.  I will spare you the long, painful feelings that I dealt with.  If you have had an animal, you know.

I will forever be thankful to the Universe for not allowing me to separate from Miguel.  I am forever thankful to Miguel for making me a better person.  Maybe I can again give the same love, compassion, patience and easy going training to another even if it’s not my own.  I am not ready for that, for today.  There still resides in me, a very big hole.

Shortly after I lost Miguel, I reached out to a trainer that knew the women who had him since he was a yearling and asked if he could put me in touch with her.  He emailed back that the last time he knew, she was very sick in the hospital and he assumed that by now she might be gone.  How ironic if that is true.  (If it’s not Ann Marie, please let me know!!) 

So handsome, so proud, so fresh in a wonderful way. 

I love you Miguel.

One of the things I will add to my posts is my experiences on this road of life.  The caveat is…they are based upon my perspective. 

When I graduated from college I worked in the financial industry.  (Not directly on Wall Street.)  After eight years in that industry (not knowing that years later we would be where we are today) I decided to leave.  Mind you, it was not as clear cut as I am making it sound now.  The change from brokerage came after about 6 months of letting go and letting life be the guide.  That also was very new for this control freak! 

The amazing thing is where I found myelf next.  Now picture working in offices, wearing suits (or business casual) and dealing with the day to day activities of MONEY.  Then picture my local feed store!  Feed store?  Yes.  Equine, swine, bovine, wild game, chicken and so on.  I packed those suits and heals and moved into a dress code of jeans and any clothes I was not concerned with getting dirty…VERY ditry.   

It was a wonderful job!  It was amazing how fulfilling a job like that could be!  Where I originally housed myself in an office (or several depending on the branch) I was now housing myself all of 5 miles from home!  The job afforded me the chance to chat and get to know people and watch the different personalities that came and went.  It was just all around fun. 

Well after I started working at the feed store, I began sending little short stories of my experiences.  I don’t have many of them but what I did compile I would like to post here in the hope that they might send a good giggle your way.  For any of you that might have heard them before, maybe you’ll get another chuckle!

Dare to live YOUR Truth!

This past weekend was beautiful as for the weather here in the Northeast!  The leaves are just beginning to show color in our parts on Saturday and Sunday and let me tell you, I came home today and WOW!  The ride home from work seems filled with so much more color since even this morning.

Back to this weekend (I tend to go on tirades).  Let me give a little history. 

Some time ago the folks at my mom’s farm (Just-A-Mere Farm) were in between trainers.  A dear friend of ours suggested we try and work with Tony Mason and his long time student Brenda.  (Tony taught classical dressage.) 

I recall the first time I lessoned with Tony I was really worried!  I could not for the life of me figure out what he was saying thru his heavy accent!  Well, eventually I overcame that.  Thank goodness because it was yet another wonderful chapter in my life.  Tony’s way of teaching was consistently gentle (at least with me).  Yelling and criticism was never necessary for him to get his point across.  He was fun with his lessons!  I recall when lessons were done I was a bit disappointed!  I actually enjoyed myself! 

There was also a time when Tony went out of his way to contact me because of a concern he had for me personally.  I will never forget that.  What I found out this weekend is that Tony was just that way with everyone he came in contact with. 

Sadly, Tony passed away this June (as did an extremely special member of my life which is another post) and this weekend the wonderful people at Holly Bush Farm in Upstate NY where Tony lived held a wonderful memorial service for Tony.  It was, for me and all others in attendance an emotional afternoon but one I am so grateful I attended. 

Tony will certainly be missed but I am grateful for the time, the memories and the lessons (on and off the horse) that I personally have.  They are very special to me!

Well, today is the first day of the next chapter for me!  Not very long ago, I got it in my head that (for personal reasons) I wanted to have my own trademark.  What I did NOT know was that I was about to have some really great experiences!

I learned about people and myself during this experience.  It was during the process of my applying for my own trademark, that I was introduced to Beth Terry.  Originally Beth had opposed the trademark I applied for.  That name was a huge part of her business.  Beth, as many of those who might initially come back to Corporate Cowgirl know, is a professional speaker and author!  Beth however; graciously allowed me to have Corporate Cowgirl and has now moved her blog to Cactus Wrangler.  Though I have not yet (no comment Beth) had a chance to meet Beth myself, from my dealings with her, I can confidently say that she is a heck of a lady!  I feel like I was able to do business the old fashioned way, with a hand shack knowing each would meet their end of the deal with no “big shots” necessary!  Very refreshing!

The whole experience has been new for me (as is blogging).  Not only applying for the trademark but finding myself being patient during the whole process!  Patience was not one of my greater qualities.  I’ll write more on that later.

Initially this blog page was going to be a place where we only shared about horses.  During this process however; I decided to open the blog to a number of different subjects! 

Horses and all that go with them…well that was not exactly going away!

Maple Syrup in New Jersey!  Hopefully I’ll be able to share some great stories with you that might send a giggle your way.

Corporate Cowgirls and finding your own truth!  I know there are a lot of Corporate Cowgirls out there.  And don’t think you need to ride horses to be a part of this unique and beautiful “label.”  We can talk more about that…

Well, I’ll leave it at that for today!  I have a lot of thoughts running thru my head about all of the wonderful doors this blog will open!  I hope you’ll join me in opening this new community to me and you!

Buck the trend!  Dare to live your truth!